"Heaven is the face of a sweet maple syrup kiss" - S.C.C.



Sunday, December 6, 2009

Future Doctors?


My Early Christmas!

I was just telling Matt last Tuesday night that I thought our mixer was about to go to the grave. Santa must have been listening in, 'cause this was delivered to the office on Friday:



I am STOKED!
Naturally, I had to do some baking with this baby:


No complaints!

A Lesson Learned?

12.05.09
Xander asks every day 'if it is going to be warm'. Sigh. Try explaining the length of Montana winter to a 4 yr old.  This is what Xander came down the stairs in this morning:

And there was NO talking him out of wearing those shorts. So I did what any sensible mother would do. I let him go to preschool dressed that way.
Oh, and it was about 15 degrees outside that day.
Lest you recoil in total horror, I did tuck a pair of pants in my purse.

Xander's teachers and I collaborated and decided to let him go out on the playground in his shorts. We figured he would step outside, decide it was too cold, and reconsider wearing those pants after all.

But...Xander totally surprised everyone. On a whim, he decided he wanted to wear pants after all. Didn't even get the chance to experience the bone-chilling cold in his shorts.

Honestly, I was kind of bummed.
Did he learn his lesson?
I really don't know.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Cinnamon Chips

My creative side lurks in the kitchen. This means that anytime a catalog that involves spices, cooking gadgets, or unusual or hard to get ingredients appears in our mailbox, someone is probably going to have a few more dollars in his/her bank account very soon.

King Arthur is richer this month.

I couldn't resist their mini cinnamon baking chips. And I really couldn't resist making some fresh whole wheat bread with them as soon as they arrived:



The house smells SO good tonight...

Dec, 1st, 3 AM


The wind was howling for hours. I could not get to sleep, so I went for a walk to the kitchen, looked outside,  and this is what I found:


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Post Adoption

I would like to give an advanced apology to anyone that may read these adoption posts and be offended. Sometimes what is in my heart doesn't come out in the right (or politically correct) words. Sometimes language cannot express what the heart feels.
 ***
Kalvin and Xander were so intrigued with this new brother of theirs. They couldn't keep their hands off "their" baby--grabbing his hands, pushing on his nose, tickling his cheeks. He sure didn't seem to pay much attention to them though. In fact, he got kind of fussy when they "loved" him so much.

And why did Mom and Dad spend so much time holding him, changing diapers, and giving him bottles of milk?

I look back on it now and realize that Xander had quite a rude awakening. He didn't seem so little at the time. After all, he had been our youngest and was growing up so quickly!
But he really was little-just eighteen months old!

Kalvin didn't seem to fazed by all the changes in our house. He turned four just a few weeks later. He was more interested in helping out than anything, although there were a few nights he didn't like it when the baby woke him up...

Somehow, now with three kids, all under the age of four, it all worked out.
 Beautifully.

Matt and I brought Talmage home on a Saturday evening. It was such a strange experience to walk into our home with a baby. Just to literally be able to walk through the front door, without being in physical pain.

I will be brutally honest: The lack of physical pain was wonderful !

It did hurt though.

My heart ached an ache its never felt before. Why did Danielle have to experience so much pain while we experienced such great joy? It didn't seem fair to me. I wanted to make it all better for her like my mom used to do when I scraped my knee and she placed a Band-Aid on my owie, then sealed it with her kiss (wherein I would skip away with a smile on my face).
And yet, I couldn't.
I resolved to do everything in my power to take care of this little babe the way she yearned to, to let her know that her instincts to trust me with the care of the infant she bore would not be dismissed.

Danielle's mom called later that evening to see how things were going. We reassured her that we all made it home safe and the baby was sleeping.  For now, her mother said, Danielle wanted some time to heal both physically and emotionally. We told her mom that when she was ready to contact us or hear more, we would be available.
***

We spoke a few times with Danielle's mom over the next couple of months, giving baby updates and such. Danielle didn't feel like she could see him yet or talk with us, but she was very much interested in hearing how things were going via her mother's calls to us.

Talmage was two months old when his birthmother was ready to see him. He had grown by leaps and bounds from a tiny thing of just over 6 lbs to a chunky monkey weighing well over 10 lbs! The kid loved to eat (and still does). Danielle held him tightly, rocked him, and told him how much she loved him.
Then she told him how happy she was that he had a Mommy and Daddy.

I cannot even type this now without tears.

I will write more about life after adoption, but I just want to leave a few last thoughts for this post.

Thank You Danielle

I (we) will forever be indebted to you for the love you have shared with us,
Thankful for our continued relationship, and
In awe of your seemingly limitless strength.

You Rock!!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Save The Adoption Tax Credit!

RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ENSURE THE ADOPTION TAX CREDIT REMAINS PERMANENT

Private and independent domestic adoptions can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $40,000, and expenses for intercountry adoptions generally total between $7,000 and $40,000. Domestic adoptions out of foster care are typically much less expensive, usually costing the adoptive parent $2,500 or less.

Congress introduced the Adoption Promotion and Stability Act in 1996 to “help families defray adoption costs.”

Unfortunately, while the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act (EGTRRA) made the adoption tax credit permanent, the provisions which raised the amount that adoptive families can claim and increased the income eligibility phase-out range will sunset on December 31, 2010. Thus, beginning in 2011, the amount adoptive parents will be able to claim under the adoption tax credit will revert to the pre-EGTRRA levels of $6,000 per special needs child and $5,000 per non-special needs child. Additionally, adoptive families reporting $75,000-$115,000 in annual adjusted gross income will again be restricted in the amount they can claim, and those reporting more than $115,000 in annual adjusted gross income will again be prohibited from claiming the tax credit at all. Several bills have been introduced in Congress to repeal the sunset and make the EGTRRA reforms of the adoption tax credit permanent.

At the center of this debate is a recent Treasury Report which found that parents who adopted children internationally account for a disproportionately large number of adoption tax credit recipients, while parents who adopted children from foster care represent a disproportionately small number. More specifically, international adoptions accounted for 34 percent of all adoptions supported by the tax credit despite making up only 15 percent of all adoptions in the United States, while domestic adoptions out of foster care made up 18 percent of adoptions supported by the tax credit despite making up nearly 40 percent of all adoptions in the United States. This finding has led some to claim that the adoption tax credit is not fulfilling a primary goal of promoting domestic adoptions out of foster care. Some advocates have suggested that the federal government should therefore eliminate the adoption tax credit and redistribute the funds saved to other pro-adoption programs.

The Adoption Promotion and Stability Act of 1996 had two purposes, first among which was “to defray adoption costs for families seeking to adopt” by establishing the adoption tax credit. The bill made no distinction between adoptions out of foster care and any other type of adoption.

Increasing subsidies to adoptive parents has been one of the most effective ways of boosting the adoption rate.

Most importantly, the EGTRRA provisions to the adoption tax credit due to expire in 2011 should be made permanent.

For 2009, the maximum adoption credit has increased to $12,150. This amount is phased out if your modified adjusted gross income is between $182,180 and $222,180. You cannot claim the credit or exclusion if your modified AGI is $222,180 or more.

For information on Special Needs Adoption Tax Credit for 2009 go to North American Council on Adoptable Children.

To take the credit or exclusion, complete Form 8839 (PDF), Qualified Adoption Expenses, and attach the form to your Form 1040 (PDF) or Form 1040A (PDF).

See irs.gov (topic 607 adoption credit)

“The Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009, H.R. 213.” Written to repeal the sunset of the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001 with respect to the expansion of the adoption credit and adoption assistance programs. This legislation will make the tax credit permanent. Unless legislation is passed, the Federal adoption tax credit that allows many adopting families to take a credit of up to $12,150 (2009) is scheduled to expire in December 2010. (For information on other legislation involving adoption go to adoptioncouncil.org/policy/fed_leg.html.)



Help Make the Current Federal Adoption Credit Permanent by Writing to your Representative

Here is how:

Find the name and Washington, D.C. mailing address of your Representative and Senators at www.congress.org. To find e-mail addresses, click through to the Senator’s or Congressperson’s Web site.

Next, log on to THOMAS (Library of Congress) to find out whether your Congresspersons are already co-sponsors of the legislation. Here is how:


On the THOMAS opening page, under “Search Bill Summary and Status,” search by bill number for H.R. 213. Then click on “Bill summary and Status.”

(Click to enlarge.)

On the page that comes up, click on “Cosponsors,” “Text of Legislation,” or “All Congressional Actions” to follow the progress of the bill.

If your representatives have not signed on as co-sponsors of the bill, send them your request that they do so. Tell them how important the tax credit was to you when you adopted your children, or how much you and other families you know are counting on it to be available in the future.

Act today, your efforts make a difference.

Our Adoption Experience

I feel impressed to share my love for and our experience with adoption. My heart is full and I know that I will never be able to express what is inside me to the degree of eloquence I would hope to portray. But try I will nonetheless...

A little background:

We married in 1997. Three states and four years later, Kalvin was born in late 2001. Our life was turned upside-down with our first baby, and we were none the happier!
A little under two years later, we decided we'd like to have another child. I became pregnant twice and lost both pregnancies. After that, it would be two years before
I would become pregnant again.
Xander was born in 2005 after a very difficult and dangerous pregnancy.
Matt and I had discussed adoption early on in our relationship. We thought that it was something we would like to do.

In 2006, we knew that time had come.

March 2006.
I don't remember where we were or what we were doing, but Matt and I both looked at each other and had the same thought--we should probably go to the adoption agency and get the paperwork to start the process.
It was such a random conversation. Xander was turning one. That month!
Somehow, we just got busy with life (with one and four year-old boys), and didn't pick up the paperwork.

May 2006.
Matt and I both had very strong feelings for about a week (without telling the other) that we needed to go and get the adoption paperwork started.

July 2006.
We got a call and confirmation letter. We were now officially approved to adopt!

August 2006.
The third week.

We received an email via the agency from someone wanting to ask us a question: Would you be interested in another boy?
"Yes!"

A few days later, we found out a girl has visited the adoption agency. We heard her first name: Danielle.
Danielle?
Matt and I looked at each other.
Do you remember that girl last year?
The one that came with her mom?
Yeah. That I took care of when she was in pain?
And the boys and I were with you?
Yeah. She said she wants to be a dental hygienist.
And we both thought was so nice and really pretty?
Uh huh. I think it's her.
I think you're right.

We had met her before. We knew who she was.
(Disclosure here--we have permission from our "patient" to talk about this...)
Danielle came to our office the year before. Matt was on call that weekend for the oral surgeon. Danielle had just had her 'wisdom teeth' removed that week and she was in quite a bit of pain that day due to an occasional complication that occurs after the procedure.
We were already in town-Matt, the boys, and myself-running our Saturday errands. We met Danielle and her mom at the office. They both seemed very nice. It was fun to talk with Danielle and hear how she wanted to go to dental hygiene school. We even told her she could come and job shadow at the office if she wanted to.

The most amazing part about all of this is that all we had been told was her first name. But we knew. Without a doubt, we knew that it was the Danielle we had met the year before.
And she knew who we were.
Evidently, Danielle was rather discouraged looking through adoption profiles. She didn't feel a connection with any of the couples/families she had read about. Her mom encouraged her to go online one more time to check some more profiles. Ours had just been activated on the agency website that morning.
Danielle says that when she saw our picture, she knew. She recognized us immediately. There was no doubt in her mind that we were the adoptive family she was looking for.

September/October
We visited with Danielle and her mom a few times before her due date of November 9th. She was quiet most of the time but still wanted to visit. She would communicate mostly through her mom. I decided to put together a hospital care package for her-some slippers, some hard candies, bath stuff, and a letter.
As a nurse, I wanted her to know what to expect when she went to the hospital to deliver--the medical stuff. But more than anything, I (and Matt) wanted her to know that we would support her in whatever she wanted to do.

You see, we had fallen in love with Danielle.

I cannot count how many times I cried on Matt's shoulder those last few weeks. It wasn't fair that she was experiencing so much pain and heartache--so that we could experience the joy of having another child in our home.
I wanted her to be happy with any decision she made, whether she changed her mind and kept the baby, decided that another family might be better after all, or still wanted us to adopt her baby. I wanted her to know that I truly believed that she would make what she knew was the right decision for her and her baby, regardless of whether or not we were to play a final role in that decision.

November 2006.
Danielle had her baby on the evening of her due date, Thursday, November 9th. We received a phone call on Friday night from her mother. We were invited to the hospital to come see. I could hardly contain myself. I was so excited to see this little guy we had all been waiting for!
He was SO tiny! Kalvin and Xander had been eight and almost nine pounds! This little peanut weighed 6 lbs 6 oz. And boy was he ever cute! Kalvin and Xander were intrigued by the baby but were more interested in the candy sitting on the bedside table. Go figure.
Poor Danielle-she looked just exhausted and was very quiet. It had been a rough 24 hours-physically, but even more so emotionally. I remember crying again that night. It just wasn't fair.

Nov. 11th
Talmage McKay Coplin came into our home.

Danielle had had a very long and difficult day saying good bye. She chose to leave the hospital before we arrived to take him home. I was so grateful to hear that her nurse that day was the same one that helped me in my labor with Xander. That nurse had been the absolute blessing I needed through a particularly scary and dangerous complication I had after my epidural. She knew just what to say (especially since I had been a labor and delivery nurse until I became pregnant and really understood how serious the situation was) and to do at just the right times. And Danielle had that angel of a nurse taking care of her that day.

***
How we met Danielle. How she chose us to be the adoptive family. How we knew that we needed to complete our paperwork right away. How we knew immediately that Danielle was the girl looking for a family. That we had two boys and Danielle was specifically looking for a family that had children, and, preferably, boys.

I know that there is no other way than through the hand of God that Talmage's adoption occurred the way that it did. I know that adoption blesses all who are involved--the birthmothers, the child, and the adoptive families are just a few. I have seen this firsthand.

Next Post On Adoption: Our Post Adoption





Sunday, November 1, 2009

Head Bonk


Poor guy!
Xander had a rough day.
Fever last night.
Tummy pain (too much candy???).
And then this.

But he did enjoy staying home from church today with Daddy. Lots of one on one time. He seemed better this evening.
Until the head bonk.

Friday, October 30, 2009

I never tire of this.

Excitement!


They really didn't want to sit still for this pic. Can you tell with the facial expressions?



Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Blue Eyes. 10.28.09


I snuck up on Kalvin tonight

We had been home about an hour and looked outside to see this!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Lunch Date



Matt and I had a lunch date today.

With our two little guys.

They thought it was pretty cool.
We did too.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

Honduras In Random...

Zip line above canopy of trees. Wheeeeee!!!!!

Fish hiding among polyps of coral

Coxen Hole neighborhood on Roatan

Skate

Shrimp on a night dive

Night dweller on the prowl

Spiny lobster. Some of these guys were almost 4' long! If we had a kitchen in our hotel room...

Crabs dancing. Need I explain further? Yes. It's what you think.

Flounder with a fin up

Burrfish

Canyon

School of fish

Triggerfish

Moon jellyfish-not clear photos, but unusual to find

This crab decided to investigate the circle of lights Matt had placed on the ocean floor during a night dive.


.Very colorful sponges. There were always little fish or shrimp hiding out in them


Diving along a wall. This was actually the murkiest water we encountered the whole trip.

More Honduras

Octopus on night dive

Coral opened up at night

Small eel poking out

Crab out for the evening

Coral

Purple vase sponge

White/gray coral

Black/dark purple coral

Green moray eel

One ugly but interesting fish!

Another evening dive octopus


Crab looking for a date

Coral opened up at night

Typical tourist souvenir shop, but fun nonetheless.
A little bright above the water!

Close up of coral polyps

HUGE coral-about 6' tall!

Hello angels!

Lots of pretty colors

The sheer diversity of the coral was amazing

Striped shrimp

Squishy looking anemone

Lots of algae and other plant life. This was on one of the "walls"

Good camo on the house, buddy!

Finger sponges


One of the more unusual creatures under the water that day-me!

Crab

Star

Another barrel sponge

Looking into the sponge from above



Toadfish. This guy was about 2' in length. And a VERY aggressively territorial fish--attacked the camera of one of the gals in our group when she came in for a close up!

Spiny lobster


So many colors...