I feel impressed to share my love for and our experience with adoption. My heart is full and I know that I will never be able to express what is inside me to the degree of eloquence I would hope to portray. But try I will nonetheless...
A little background:
We married in 1997. Three states and four years later, Kalvin was born in late 2001. Our life was turned upside-down with our first baby, and we were none the happier!
A little under two years later, we decided we'd like to have another child. I became pregnant twice and lost both pregnancies. After that, it would be two years before
I would become pregnant again.
Xander was born in 2005 after a very difficult and dangerous pregnancy.
Matt and I had discussed adoption early on in our relationship. We thought that it was something we would like to do.
In 2006, we knew that time had come.
March 2006.
I don't remember where we were or what we were doing, but Matt and I both looked at each other and had the same thought--we should probably go to the adoption agency and get the paperwork to start the process.
It was such a random conversation. Xander was turning one. That month!
Somehow, we just got busy with life (with one and four year-old boys), and didn't pick up the paperwork.
May 2006.
Matt and I both had very strong feelings for about a week (without telling the other) that we needed to go and get the adoption paperwork started.
July 2006.
We got a call and confirmation letter. We were now officially approved to adopt!
August 2006.
The third week.
We received an email via the agency from someone wanting to ask us a question: Would you be interested in another boy?
"Yes!"
A few days later, we found out a girl has visited the adoption agency. We heard her first name: Danielle.
Danielle?
Matt and I looked at each other.
Do you remember that girl last year?
The one that came with her mom?
Yeah. That I took care of when she was in pain?
And the boys and I were with you?
Yeah. She said she wants to be a dental hygienist.
And we both thought was so nice and really pretty?
Uh huh. I think it's her.
I think you're right.
We had met her before. We knew who she was.
(Disclosure here--we have permission from our "patient" to talk about this...)
Danielle came to our office the year before. Matt was on call that weekend for the oral surgeon. Danielle had just had her 'wisdom teeth' removed that week and she was in quite a bit of pain that day due to an occasional complication that occurs after the procedure.
We were already in town-Matt, the boys, and myself-running our Saturday errands. We met Danielle and her mom at the office. They both seemed very nice. It was fun to talk with Danielle and hear how she wanted to go to dental hygiene school. We even told her she could come and job shadow at the office if she wanted to.
The most amazing part about all of this is that all we had been told was her first name. But we knew. Without a doubt, we knew that it was the Danielle we had met the year before.
And she knew who we were.
Evidently, Danielle was rather discouraged looking through adoption profiles. She didn't feel a connection with any of the couples/families she had read about. Her mom encouraged her to go online one more time to check some more profiles. Ours had just been activated on the agency website that morning.
Danielle says that when she saw our picture, she knew. She recognized us immediately. There was no doubt in her mind that we were the adoptive family she was looking for.
September/October
We visited with Danielle and her mom a few times before her due date of November 9th. She was quiet most of the time but still wanted to visit. She would communicate mostly through her mom. I decided to put together a hospital care package for her-some slippers, some hard candies, bath stuff, and a letter.
As a nurse, I wanted her to know what to expect when she went to the hospital to deliver--the medical stuff. But more than anything, I (and Matt) wanted her to know that we would support her in whatever she wanted to do.
You see, we had fallen in love with Danielle.
I cannot count how many times I cried on Matt's shoulder those last few weeks. It wasn't fair that she was experiencing so much pain and heartache--so that we could experience the joy of having another child in our home.
I wanted her to be happy with any decision she made, whether she changed her mind and kept the baby, decided that another family might be better after all, or still wanted us to adopt her baby. I wanted her to know that I truly believed that she would make what she knew was the right decision for her and her baby, regardless of whether or not we were to play a final role in that decision.
November 2006.
Danielle had her baby on the evening of her due date, Thursday, November 9th. We received a phone call on Friday night from her mother. We were invited to the hospital to come see. I could hardly contain myself. I was so excited to see this little guy we had all been waiting for!
He was SO tiny! Kalvin and Xander had been eight and almost nine pounds! This little peanut weighed 6 lbs 6 oz. And boy was he ever cute! Kalvin and Xander were intrigued by the baby but were more interested in the candy sitting on the bedside table. Go figure.
Poor Danielle-she looked just exhausted and was very quiet. It had been a rough 24 hours-physically, but even more so emotionally. I remember crying again that night. It just wasn't fair.
Nov. 11th
Talmage McKay Coplin came into our home.
Danielle had had a very long and difficult day saying good bye. She chose to leave the hospital before we arrived to take him home. I was so grateful to hear that her nurse that day was the same one that helped me in my labor with Xander. That nurse had been the absolute blessing I needed through a particularly scary and dangerous complication I had after my epidural. She knew just what to say (especially since I had been a labor and delivery nurse until I became pregnant and really understood how serious the situation was) and to do at just the right times. And Danielle had that angel of a nurse taking care of her that day.
***
How we met Danielle. How she chose us to be the adoptive family. How we knew that we needed to complete our paperwork right away. How we knew immediately that Danielle was the girl looking for a family. That we had two boys and Danielle was specifically looking for a family that had children, and, preferably, boys.
I know that there is no other way than through the hand of God that Talmage's adoption occurred the way that it did. I know that adoption blesses all who are involved--the birthmothers, the child, and the adoptive families are just a few. I have seen this firsthand.
Next Post On Adoption: Our Post Adoption
A little background:
We married in 1997. Three states and four years later, Kalvin was born in late 2001. Our life was turned upside-down with our first baby, and we were none the happier!
A little under two years later, we decided we'd like to have another child. I became pregnant twice and lost both pregnancies. After that, it would be two years before
I would become pregnant again.
Xander was born in 2005 after a very difficult and dangerous pregnancy.
Matt and I had discussed adoption early on in our relationship. We thought that it was something we would like to do.
In 2006, we knew that time had come.
March 2006.
I don't remember where we were or what we were doing, but Matt and I both looked at each other and had the same thought--we should probably go to the adoption agency and get the paperwork to start the process.
It was such a random conversation. Xander was turning one. That month!
Somehow, we just got busy with life (with one and four year-old boys), and didn't pick up the paperwork.
May 2006.
Matt and I both had very strong feelings for about a week (without telling the other) that we needed to go and get the adoption paperwork started.
July 2006.
We got a call and confirmation letter. We were now officially approved to adopt!
August 2006.
The third week.
We received an email via the agency from someone wanting to ask us a question: Would you be interested in another boy?
"Yes!"
A few days later, we found out a girl has visited the adoption agency. We heard her first name: Danielle.
Danielle?
Matt and I looked at each other.
Do you remember that girl last year?
The one that came with her mom?
Yeah. That I took care of when she was in pain?
And the boys and I were with you?
Yeah. She said she wants to be a dental hygienist.
And we both thought was so nice and really pretty?
Uh huh. I think it's her.
I think you're right.
We had met her before. We knew who she was.
(Disclosure here--we have permission from our "patient" to talk about this...)
Danielle came to our office the year before. Matt was on call that weekend for the oral surgeon. Danielle had just had her 'wisdom teeth' removed that week and she was in quite a bit of pain that day due to an occasional complication that occurs after the procedure.
We were already in town-Matt, the boys, and myself-running our Saturday errands. We met Danielle and her mom at the office. They both seemed very nice. It was fun to talk with Danielle and hear how she wanted to go to dental hygiene school. We even told her she could come and job shadow at the office if she wanted to.
The most amazing part about all of this is that all we had been told was her first name. But we knew. Without a doubt, we knew that it was the Danielle we had met the year before.
And she knew who we were.
Evidently, Danielle was rather discouraged looking through adoption profiles. She didn't feel a connection with any of the couples/families she had read about. Her mom encouraged her to go online one more time to check some more profiles. Ours had just been activated on the agency website that morning.
Danielle says that when she saw our picture, she knew. She recognized us immediately. There was no doubt in her mind that we were the adoptive family she was looking for.
September/October
We visited with Danielle and her mom a few times before her due date of November 9th. She was quiet most of the time but still wanted to visit. She would communicate mostly through her mom. I decided to put together a hospital care package for her-some slippers, some hard candies, bath stuff, and a letter.
As a nurse, I wanted her to know what to expect when she went to the hospital to deliver--the medical stuff. But more than anything, I (and Matt) wanted her to know that we would support her in whatever she wanted to do.
You see, we had fallen in love with Danielle.
I cannot count how many times I cried on Matt's shoulder those last few weeks. It wasn't fair that she was experiencing so much pain and heartache--so that we could experience the joy of having another child in our home.
I wanted her to be happy with any decision she made, whether she changed her mind and kept the baby, decided that another family might be better after all, or still wanted us to adopt her baby. I wanted her to know that I truly believed that she would make what she knew was the right decision for her and her baby, regardless of whether or not we were to play a final role in that decision.
November 2006.
Danielle had her baby on the evening of her due date, Thursday, November 9th. We received a phone call on Friday night from her mother. We were invited to the hospital to come see. I could hardly contain myself. I was so excited to see this little guy we had all been waiting for!
He was SO tiny! Kalvin and Xander had been eight and almost nine pounds! This little peanut weighed 6 lbs 6 oz. And boy was he ever cute! Kalvin and Xander were intrigued by the baby but were more interested in the candy sitting on the bedside table. Go figure.
Poor Danielle-she looked just exhausted and was very quiet. It had been a rough 24 hours-physically, but even more so emotionally. I remember crying again that night. It just wasn't fair.
Nov. 11th
Talmage McKay Coplin came into our home.
Danielle had had a very long and difficult day saying good bye. She chose to leave the hospital before we arrived to take him home. I was so grateful to hear that her nurse that day was the same one that helped me in my labor with Xander. That nurse had been the absolute blessing I needed through a particularly scary and dangerous complication I had after my epidural. She knew just what to say (especially since I had been a labor and delivery nurse until I became pregnant and really understood how serious the situation was) and to do at just the right times. And Danielle had that angel of a nurse taking care of her that day.
***
How we met Danielle. How she chose us to be the adoptive family. How we knew that we needed to complete our paperwork right away. How we knew immediately that Danielle was the girl looking for a family. That we had two boys and Danielle was specifically looking for a family that had children, and, preferably, boys.
I know that there is no other way than through the hand of God that Talmage's adoption occurred the way that it did. I know that adoption blesses all who are involved--the birthmothers, the child, and the adoptive families are just a few. I have seen this firsthand.
Next Post On Adoption: Our Post Adoption
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